Case Study: How to Lose a Client
Subject: Cityscape Lawn Care and Landscaping, Kenosha, WI.
This is the age most of us learn how to cut grass.
The barrier of entry into the lawn mowing business is quite low. All it requires is a lawn mower, a way to move said lawn mower, and a cell phone.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, May 6, 2012.
Two years ago when I started writing this column I had just finished chemo, radiation and surgery, the holy trinity of cancer care. I wrote about it at the time, but since then I’ve only mentioned it once in passing. I am sick of stupid cancer. Sick of talking about it, sick of seeing too many people I know fight it or die from it, sick of paying for it and sick of living with it. But here we are.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, April 8, 2012.
Much like the handwritten letter, the art of the phone call is being lost. We don’t use the phone much anymore. When I say “we” I am talking about The Herd, but specifically I’m referring to people I know.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, March 11, 2012.
Whatever gene it is that drives people to reproduce is completely missing from me. Not the process that leads to it, mind you, but actually wanting offspring. I don’t get it.
I am the guy who, when handed a baby, holds it awkwardly at arms’ length like spent nuclear fuel. The sounds of children are nails on a chalkboard. I would rather get a colonoscopy than go to Chuck E Cheese. As horrible as it sounds, I am immune to Anne Geddes photos.
I know. I’m a monster.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, February 13, 2012.
I love America. From stem to stern and tip to toe, I heart this big cauldron of diversity, dysfunction and determination. I especially like Wisconsin. I’ve lived in different parts of the country – Chicago, Miami and a brief stint in New Orleans – but our great state keeps pulling me back. I was reminded why on a recent road trip to Florida.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, January 15, 2012
It was at our house on New Year’s Eve, sometime after the Basil-tinis started flowing but well before the ball dropped, when I was blinded by a bright flash. It went off inches from my face and was followed by a familiar whirring sound. After blinking the spots out of my retinas, I realized someone had just taken my picture. With a Polaroid instant camera.
An excerpt of this column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, December 11, 2011
It was the summer of 2007 and we were on our way out for martinis, driving downtown, when we passed the majestic building at dusk. There was a for sale sign in the yard. I slowed down. “Wow, she’s gorgeous.”
This column originally appeared as a special to the Kenosha News, Sunday Mornings With Basil Willis, September, 18, 2011.
After a challenging summer, we knew we had to get away before the weather changed. Something cheap and relatively close. Beth booked a trip down the mighty Wisconsin River from Sauk City to Spring Green, a 25 mile canoeing adventure over two days through the Driftless Area created during the last glacial period. All the provisions we would need had to fit inside a canoe, which meant Beth couldn’t bring a suitcase full of shoes.
An edited version of this My Turn column first appeared as a special to the Kenosha News on February 8, 2008.
Full disclosure: I moved to Kenosha two and a half years ago to be with the love of my life. I was not looking forward to it. Had I not found The One, and had she not been so stubborn, I would not be here.